Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a quality that is essential in order to be able to lead a joyful and abundant life.  It is, however, a quality that is often misunderstood and there is far more to it than meets the eye.Forgiveness, on the more mundane levels, is about letting go, moving forward, taking back one’s power and above all taking responsibility for oneself and one’s life.  On the more profound levels it also means to be able to integrate one’s shadow in the realization that we are all one.

When the subject of forgiveness comes up, there are usually some who tend to get upset and even quite angry until it is pointed out that forgiving does not mean stating that those who have wronged us are right or that one has to become friends with them.  That it is OK never to meet them again and that it is not necessary to tell them they have been forgiven.  Equally that what has been done can be recognised as wickedness or abuse etc.  Forgiveness just means letting go of the pain of the past, not harbouring any grudges, may be take on board any lessons learned and moving on with one’s life.  Once this is stated the tension usually goes and the work towards true healing can begin.

There are of course degrees of hurt and feeling wronged and one could say that there is definitely a difference between a loved one having been murdered or having lost a job through the deviousness of colleagues.  The principles of needing to move through these experiences remain, however, the same and it is also important to state that each of us is unique.  One person may be able to forgive and move through dreadful experiences quite quickly where another may need much more time to let go of ‘lesser’ issues.  We all feel, think and experience life in our own unique way but the matter of forgiveness is something that touches all of us.

Quite often those who have wronged others, project these wrongdoings onto their victims, proclaim to all and sundry how much they have suffered and at times even add insult to injury by telling their victims they have forgiven them.  Another scenario is that when someone who has suffered at the hands of another and tells this person they do not hold a grudge and have forgiven the issue, they get insulted or even attacked.  Equally many are not even aware of the hurts they cause others since they are self absorbed and not really aware of anyone else.  Others may feel devastated by innocent remarks made by a friend. The list can go on and on and we are all aware of the subject and it is the issue of not being able to let go that so often leads to unhappiness to say the least.

It is true that for the most part we create our life by what we think, feel and do in the present moment.  It is of course important to deal with and heal hurts, grief or other painful issues.  Also to acknowledge and integrate any possible lessons these issues may have taught us.  After this, however, if we wish to be more joyful, fulfilled and abundant, it is vital to let go of the past and move on to better things…